These days, I’ve noticed that people are often spelling certain words “wrong” (or at least, in a different way to how I was taught to spell them at school, which was more than ten years ago, at least). Perhaps these new ways of spelling will become widely accepted by humanity in general, the dictionaries will be altered, and then I will be the one spelling incorrectly. It’s all relative. Until then, here is a handy guide to how these words are spelled, officially:
There – This is the “there” you use to state direction. E.g. “There it is.” A good way to remember this is it ends in ere, like in the word “here.”
Their – This is the word used to state possession (not by the Devil… at least, not necessarily.) It’s used when referring to something that belongs to someone. E.g. “Their coat is draped over that tree branch.”
They’re — This is the word that’s like the nickname of “They are.” (The apostrophe shows where the missing letter a would have been — it’s not like the apostrophe in O’Connor or O’Grady.) This states that a plural noun is something or is doing something, E.g. “Alice and John are out gallivanting in the graveyard. They’re amateur body-snatchers.”
Peak / peek — These words are often mixed up nowadays. Peak means the top or summit or climax of something, or a mountain. Peek is when you take a quick look at something. I’ve seen it spelled the other way around, which makes no sense when you think about it. I mean, when you play peek-a-boo with a small child, you’re not whacking them in the eyes with Mount Everest, are you?
Peal / peel — Peeling is what you do to a banana, or a really aggravating sunburn. Pealing is what bells do. Unfortunately, a lot of people have taken it into their heads that bananas are noisy and that bells can be skinned. I’m not sure where they are getting these bananas from, or what sort of churches they live near that have bells with flesh that must be shed like a snake’s.
To / Too — I’ve seen these changed over as well. To is used to mean going towards something, or giving something to someone, or “to do” something. Too is used to mean as well as, or when saying something is extreme, E.g. too much or “This grave is too cold.”
Well — Call me old fashioned, but I’ve seen this spelled “welp.” I don’t know where the p came from. Who pronounces “well” with a p? I would like to know the story behind this. Speaking of confusing p’s…
Warmth — I’ve seen this spelled, I kid you not, as “warmpth.” Something about saying warmth with a p in the middle sets my teeth on edge. It sounds as if you’re talking like Nigel from the Wild Thornberries. Cringe.
All right / Alright — as a boy, I was taught to use “all right.” These days, “alright” is acceptable if you’re using it informally, but in a formal piece of writing, you should still use “all right.” Alright? All right. Good.
Your / you’re — Alas, poor you’re, I knew it well. Your is used when talking about something that belongs to someone. E.g. “Your pet cayman ended up in my back garden again last night,” or “Your mad smile is what makes me get up in the morning.” You’re is the abbreviation of you are, E.g. “You’re sleeping in a funny position” or “You’re practicing yoga at a strange time of the morning, Edith.”
Piece / peace — Peace is something that John Lennon dreamed of. A piece is a bit or slice or portion of something, like a piece of pizza. Don’t confuse this with Pisces, which is a star sign.
Bought / brought — if you’ve bought something, you paid for it (hopefully). If you’ve brought something, that means you’ve taken it with you somewhere. Brought has an R in it in all months of the year.
Through / thorough — You pass through something, like a tunnel or a wall or a door. If you’re diligent and conscientious, you’re thorough. It has an extra O. Don’t ask me why.
That’s the main list of words I’ve noticed people have been spelling strangely these days. And don’t forget, I before E except after C (unless your name is Keith and your foreign neighbours have been receiving eight counterfeited beige weights or something.
Nightwalks 